Living · Loving · Uncategorized

10 in 12 {Oct. 4th pt. 1}

**June 4th 2015 I will celebrate 10 years of marriage with my wonderful husband, and I’m excited to share our story here over the next 12 months (I love our story!). Each month I’ll share another post leading up to the big 10th anniversary! I’m calling it “10 in 12,” 10 years of marriage celebrated in the next 12 months! 🙂 **

(Go here to read the first part of our story!)

Last months entry left a big cliff hanger in our story, and now I’m happy to share the next chapter with you all! This point in the story is pretty big, so I’m going to break it up into 2 different posts. I’ll do my best to get the 2nd half up asap! It’s been so fun to write these posts and to relive memories from 10 years ago, but fun also knowing that I get to share this story with you. Thanks for reading along!

 

In the months of September and October Blake and I each made our first trips to visit one another. We took turns flying out, and Blake was up first. The days leading up to him coming to visit were agony!! I couldn’t wait for him to be in my home and meet my family and my friends! Our summer together had been amazing, and I felt like this relationship was so different. Getting to be near him and see his face and hold his hand again was so exciting!

And then he came! The first night he was in North Carolina we stayed up so late just talking and talking! It felt like I was sitting with my best friend. I felt like I had known him for years and years and not just months. (That was one thing that was always so special and great to me, the ease at which I always felt with him.) He spent time with my family and got to meet lots of my friends. Blake even planned an amazing date for us in Charlotte complete with a fancy dinner uptown and tickets to a play! (Side note to share…I’m not sure how much he paid for the tickets to the play, but we had stayed up so late the night before talking that I literally kept falling asleep during the performance! At the intermission we decided to go ahead and leave since I was so tired! How awful am I! And, come to find out later that Blake loathes musicals! The boy sacrificed his money and his comfort to treat me to a special event that I kept sleeping through! Wow, girlfriend of the year award right there! I’m so thankful for his graciousness towards me, then and now! 🙂 ) Back to the story…

Our first time reuniting after our summer together was filled with tons of conversations, tons of new people for Blake to meet, and tons of fun together. But as great as it all was, there was something that started nagging at me.

Uncertainty.

Sure he was wonderful and I was so comfortable around him. Yes he was great and my friends and family agreed, and he absolutely always strived to make me feel special. But after this visit I just wasn’t sure if all the gushy wonderful feelings I had before were still there. I wasn’t sure if there was a long future ahead for us. I just wasn’t sold. He left to go back to Oklahoma and I began to really pray and seek advice from others. I talked to my best friends about my feelings and I had several opportunities to talk to my mentor about things. I didn’t mention any of this to Blake but I continued pursuing the Lord in prayer concerning our relationship, and I let Blake continue pursuing me.

October came and it was getting close for me to go and visit Blake in Oklahoma. After all my prayers and conversations about my feelings with others, I was still feeling uncertain. Right before my trip I remember chatting with my mentor and she encouraged me not to put too much weight on the visit. I remember thinking that my trip to Oklahoma was going to make or break my relationship with Blake, but she encouraged me to go and have fun and enjoy getting to know him in his home around his people. If things weren’t awesome or I didn’t really “feel” something, it didn’t necessarily mean that we shouldn’t be together. This was wonderful advice that I clung to during my trip.

I was learning a valuable lesson. The feelings of love will ebb and flow over the course of time, so we have to make a choice to love someone. We choose to love them no matter what, even if those lovey gushy feelings aren’t always there.

And my trip to Oklahoma definitely started out with me NOT having gushy lovey feelings…

(Stayed tuned for part 2 later this week…)

My love.... Oct. 4th, 2014
My love….
Oct. 4th, 2014

 

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